I was watching YouTube the other day and saw a top ten of married couples from television. I was rather put off to see that the top ten praised couples in which the woman “wore the pants” and bossed around her husband (Rosanne was on the list). They pointed out that even on The Cosby Show, it was really the wife who was in charge of things and the “stronger” one of the pair. They seemed to be praising women who took charge of their families and made their husbands do their bidding.
No wonder the divorce rate is so high.
No matter what society says, the MAN is the head of the family. Period. The woman is not a doormat for her husband to walk on, but guess what? That doesn’t mean the man has to be a doormat for HER to walk all over either.
I have a great husband and I have no problem letting him take the lead in our family. Here are ten reasons why (in no particular order).
1. He tells it like it is. My husband is not afraid to tell me when I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. As we live in HIS country, he has to do this often. I sometimes gripe about it, but I know he’s right. I’m not supposed to cross my legs when we’re with Lisu company, but if we’re with Thai people, I can’t point my feet towards anyone.
2. He does nightly devotions with our boys. My husband is a pastor, but I read in a book that while many pastors have a plan to win other people to Christ, they never make any sort of plan for their own children. I shared this with my husband and he immediately decided we had to do a nightly devotional with our children.
3. He backs me up with the kids. On one occaision, he was out of town and I was doing devos with the kids. But neither of the boys were interested in doing devotions that night. I got frustrated and called my husband, who talked to our older boy and told him flat out that he needed to do what he was told and not complain about it. Naturally, the older boy had a better attitude and the younger one followed suit.
4. He’s not afraid of discipline. Our older boy skipped school, and my husband lectured him about skipping school and being disrespectful to his grandmother (we were out of town and he told his grandma there was no school). He then gave him several swats with a switch. I reinforced this by taking away his bicycle until school lets out.
5. He takes care of his parents. This is expected in Asia, as most people have no retirement plan. My mother-in-law lives with us and does most of the cooking and cleaning, which I am grateful for. My father-in-law lives with my husband’s brother, filling a similar role.
6. He is not afraid to learn new things. Coming to the US was an eye-opening experience for my Thai husband. He admits that it “opened” his mind. He also says he would never want to live in the US and that all the Asians trying to immigrate there have NO idea what it’s really like.
7. He’s frugal, but not cheap. He will take me out for a burger or pizza from time to time, even though you can get twenty bowls of noodle soup for the same price.
8. He’s not afraid of making bad jokes. Most of his jokes make fun of the English language, or sometimes the Thai language, or both. He tells a great many puns that only people who know both languages would get.
9. He knows the value of being multi-lingual. Because of this, he has our older boy study Chinese (his fourth language) and our toddler speaks three (all at the same time). We know of other expats who do not allow their kids to learn Thai or any of the tribal languages. WHAT A WASTE! It is SO much easier to learn another language during childhood. We also know of a village where the children know up to eight languages, as a mixture of tribes are living together and the kids are learning other languages from their friends.
10. He built a redneck air-conditioner out of an old cooler and a desk fan. Growing up in a village, a man has to learn to run electric wires and install his own plumbing. So when I showed him a YouTube video of how to make an air-conditioner, he had one built by that evening.
Now THAT’S a man.